Feminists live in relationship with people who (whether consciously or unconsciously) are sexist and anti-feminist. We live with people whose lives have gone seemingly untouched by the women’s movement, or who lack an awareness of the political character of their personal decisions. Our world is one that has only been partially and imperfectly transformed by feminism; all of us who would be feminists live at odds with the world around us.
… This dilemma – that feminist political consciousness requires of us that we understand those we love and care about as having made nonfeminist or even anti-feminist choices, which understanding puts in jeopardy those same relationships – is pervasive for feminists living in a world only partially transformed by feminism. Our political views and consciousness necessitate judgments about those we love: about the gendered division of labor within a friend’s marriage, about the choice a sister makes to leave the workforce to stay at home with her children, about the way a teenage daughter wants to dress and act, about the sexist and homophobic jokes a friend likes to tell, about how one’s partner places his career goals above one’s own, about a colleague’s desire to have another child before tenure when her case is already shaky. Yet, if we articulate these judgments, or allow them to affect our relationships, we risk triggering passionate conflict – which makes relationship unpleasant if not impossible. However, if we suspend judgment in the context of our personal relationships, we seem to be failing in courage as feminists – for feminism is precisely about reworking and revisioning the personal.
I think the average guy thinks they’re pro-woman, just because they think they’re a nice guy and someone has told them that they’re awesome. But the truth is far from it. Unless you are actively, consciously working against the gravitational pull of the culture, you will predictably, thematically, create these sort of fucked-up representations.
America is some fucked up dystopian shit honestly like how are y’all even surviving? Paying for healthcare? $60,000 on tuition? POC getting shot in Wal-Marts? White men shooting up elementary schools? That’s terrifying I’m worried about all of you
America doesn’t seem that terribly horrible when you live here day to day and you’ve known nothing else but when somebody says something like this it fucks you up really good.
Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a douchebag in tin foil.
a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)
That’s exactly the appropriate response.